Love me for what I am – Kinesthetic empath

I’m a kinesthetic learner and I’m proud of it. To learn fully, I need to move. I cannot withstand school on my first day in primary school.

In kindergarten, my grandparents often take me out to explore places during school days and I thought school was like that. I can leave whenever I want.

But not in primary schools nor secondary schools.

The first day of such school, I was restless and felt school was and is still a cage. I felt like a monkey whose butt was on fire. I hated school and the peeps who forced me in it.

I became an annoyance to my class and was punished. It became overwhelming that I end up hurting my classmate. And so to prevent further punishment from school and especially from the wrath of my parents, I learned to control myself. I pretend to like school.

Everyday, I find something or someone that ignite my curiosity. And I stayed in 1 seat focusing on it.

Eventually I became tolerant of school.

I looked forward to my daily outdoor activities in the sun.

I never knew there were many types of learning styles of people. I only found out I was kinesthetic in my 30s. I pretend and fake it all my life that I truly forgot who and what I am.

When I returned to school in my twenties as a teacher, I thought my phobia of school has transformed. It has not. My first class I was supposed to take over, I witnessed 2 international students being punished and ostracised by the whole class because they cannot keep still during lessons.

As I observed, I emphatized with them. I knew what it felt to be one of them. And I knew punishing them only make matters worse. But I was new. My role was to observe and take notes.

Kinesthetic learners need not be punished. They need to be loved for what they are. They need to be accepted in their truths. And teachers have to find creative ways than punishing them for what they don’t understand.

Many years of abuses through caning, words and more… taught me to fake it. To fake it being a good student. To fake it pretending I was paying attention to the lessons taught… Out of fear.

I even exhausted my exuberant energy in class by working many jobs, after. So everyday, I will be too tired, and sleepy that I stay put in 1 seat by sleeping with both eyes closed and sometimes open.

And being an empath is not helping. My senses are often over stimulated by the energies in my classes and schools. So my solution was to tire myself out. And when I’m tired, I cannot be bothered with all the stimulation. I just leave them be.

I’ve tried all ways to stay focus in class. I tried writing out stuff my teachers communicate in daily lessons. I tried, opening my eyes wide open, matchstick, pinching etc and even rewarding myself with treats if I can stay focus for just 1 lesson. It all went down the drain.

Weirdly enough, in my drowsy state in class, my subconscious was awake and recording everything that was taught in class. Miraculously, I pass my tests and exams.

When I need to solve issues, I love to take long walks on my own. And while my senses are focused and aware of the exploration, my mind let go of the issues and eventually at the end of the walks, I often find the solutions happily. The art of surrendering to the higher power was found.

One of my children has the same issue but mild. Though I was late to identify my own kinesthetic learning ability, him being in water polo in secondary school helps him to stay focused in classes. Because his energies were spent in water and sunshine often.

As a kinesthetic learner, I learn much when I wander about thus being born to explore the world is very much my passion.

So the message of this post is….

Whoever and whatever you are, approve and accept yourself immediately. No matter if the world accept or approve of you. That does not matter. What matters is, you approve of you.

We are all miracles and gifts. To unfold our own miracles is to first accept ourselves as it is. To unleash our innate powers is to love ourselves unconditionally.

Normally peeps who matter, don’t bother about what or who we are and love us for what we truly are. And those who bother, don’t truly matter, actually.

Be harmonious in your being. Being at war with yourself only attract likeminded patterns of people and situations. Unless we are aware, we might be in an endless loop of non-acceptance.

Be aware, be in love with yourself. Let me be the first to say – I love you. I love all parts of you… Good, not good and weird and awesome ones.

If you have issues accepting yourself, look into a mirror daily and say the above to yourself. Look deep into your eyes (until you feel goosebumps or tiny shivers that your soul is being seen)… And say – “I love you.”

Say it many times. Win yourself over. Say it from your heart.. “I love all parts of you, the good, bad, ugly, weird, awesome, beautiful etc. You, Lina (insert your name) are truly amazing!”.

(Visited 27 times, 1 visits today)