(Note: you may chanced upon my posts on soulmates, twin flames etc in my past, but I no longer believed in all that. FYI.)

I felt the need to share my own experience after watching on Amazon Prime: Desperately Seeking Soulmate: Escaping Twin Flames Universe.

(Always seek your own guidance to seek “teachers”. Feel intuitively if they/he/she is good for you. For Muslims, solat istikharah. I seek the same for my global clients seeking my services. Always check within… If we are right for each other.)

I knew this couple by name when I was on the same search, years back, before they were famous.

But I soon moved on from global mentors who believed they have met their twin flames and seek to be teachers of the world and seek my own way.

(As mentioned, as I was seeking more spiritual knowledge around the world, Islam is still my foundation. So some of their beliefs and cultures clash with my own, thus, I took what is good and seek my own way.)

As I volunteered in camps, seminars and programs around the world and serve my global clients, I’ve met many soulmates, and perhaps the so called “twin flames” both real and false.

Soulmates, I identified as not necessarily romantically linked but they can also be our platonic bffs, family members and more.

Soulmates are those who understood us, support us no matter what. Even if they may not be of same wavelength, they are present for us. They can be in all form. Any nationalities, genders and ages.

Twin flames to my understanding is another us. Twin like characters and similar or opposite beliefs but when we meet each other, it felt like we meet another aspect of us that has been long forgotten. It’s like a mirror image of you, me, all of us.

The best part that attracted me was union of twin flame has a big mission. Because they can be same on the inside but packaging wise may be so different that their role is to unite these vast differences in the name of love. Their role is to question the current status quo and bring about love, unity, harmony and peace in all levels of relationships.

So how do we meet our twin flames? It is said that as we work hard and deep on ourselves, we shall attract the twin flame we were destined to be with. Also there said to be 8 stages of twin flame union. And when they actually meet, a huge chemistry game is turned on. And then they will separate which can be super painful, long or arduous depending on the couple itself.

Sometimes, one twin flame may be asleep and not as awake as the other. Thus they are not aware.

I’ve gone through lots as I became a student of love and relationship.

And I ended up with my own conclusions.

Whatever was shared in the net may not be necessarily true, no matter who said it.

I believe our fates are already interlinked and written. It’s up to us to make it happen, if we choose to.

I believed everyone is already given many choices in terms of life partnerships. If we are not, then there are some changes we can start making.

Most times, when we don’t meet the “right peeps” is due to our past conditioning and beliefs adoption.

And also our true worthiness and self esteem.

This illusion of chasing after another and ownership… Is never about love. It’s about ego. It’s about wanting, desires and feeling. It’s seldom about the other. It’s selfish. It’s more on outer than inner. The idea of having another by one side. The decoration of the term intimate mate. (if you don’t believe me, start asking yourself why-why do I want a twin flame love?… endlessly asking why, and you will get your truth.)

And when you tried so much, it’s best to surrender to the Creator. If you cannot, give up.

Also, maybe you are in the TF quest because you want to experience mind blowing sex. It was said that TF sex is the best ever.

I was once a tantric student. And I believed you can have mind blowing sex with anyone, even and especially with our decades- old spouses (just be open to learn, aware and communicate your desires with one another).

Personally, for me, I love the idea of long term companionship but I’m an empath, a sensitive, easily triggered by subtle changes in my surroundings. And regardless of how many delicious men showed up, I ended up leaving or I find reasons to break their hearts.

Maybe my soul truth is… I don’t like to be tied down, to be owned, to change for someone else, or even like the idea of compromising myself.

Even if the person can accept me as what I show up in whatever seasonal changes I felt free to be, the person comes in a package. The community, the family, the everything.. Is a bit overwhelming for me. (Less peeps =less noise for this empath.)

So though the idea of a divorcee having a life companion seems like showcasing the world that I’m successful and a winner in all ego aspects, I cannot do it. I realised, I love living on my own, making my own choices without having to refer to another.

Even if being in love is real and wonderful, the after effects and reality is something, I may not wish to handle. (I sounded jaded :)).

Perhaps the, commitment I was taught in Islam felt too much for me, knowing that Paradise lies in my husband’s feet. And whatever I’ve experienced in my first marriage, does not attract me to do it again. (I don’t believe in living together without marriage as it is sinful to me. So long term relationship must have a goal towards marriage. Which I don’t like so, thus I prefer being solo. ).

As for love, abundance in my life. It’s just that I don’t have to tie them down.

Peeps may laugh when I say little things that may seem normal can disrupt my life like another snoring beside me (I can tolerate occasional but not a lifetime, I may need a separate bed or room). Also when we sleep together, our cells are actually communicating.

So if my partner is invested heavily in work against crime, then, my being cannot rest well because I’m a sponge. I absorp. And if my partner does not understand that and not aware nor awake and do his own deep inner work, then, it was super overwhelming for me. Been there, done that.

It has happened before, I woke up days and weeks feeling like the world is sadist, sappy and out of hope. I wasn’t aware what was happening. I took others’ stuff as my own. Baggages and all.

The idea of twin flames are mesmerising and enticing when it seems that you have met all the “losers” of the world. But actually all these are teachers of life. Chosen and picked for you. Also most times, we already know that in the beginning of meeting. (The red flags are already triggered within us, depends if we want to heed or not.)

Because until we learn that the outside world will not change until our inner world change, we might attract the same pattern of so called “losers”.

Perhaps, we attracted abusers, why? Perhaps somewhere deep inside we were hurt and wounded in childhood, teen or adulthood.

And we labeled ourselves broken. Or perhaps, our parents were “broken* and inflicted their wounded-ness upon us and traumatised us. And we decided to adopt the belief that perhaps, we deserve it. If our own parents abuse us, then what hope do we have, of the world?

Perhaps it’s time, we stand up and have backbones. Stand up and say NO… and enough!!! I had enough!

Perhaps it’s time we put on our warrior mode and tell the world to shut up. It’s time we choose our friends and families intelligently. Of like minded positivity and healing path.

Perhaps, it’s time we dig deeper within and take out beliefs that was adopted and no longer work for us. It’s time we shout out at the top of our lungs and say-Yes!!! I deserve the best in love and relationship!

And it’s time, we work on the relationships we have with ourselves.

Stop betraying ourselves, stop abusing ourselves. Stop settling for less. Stop having a relationship just because we fear loneliness. Face it. Face that loneliness. Stop having relationship or 1 night stand because we crave instant intimacy.

Sexual though done in a haste for instant gratification but to purge and heal from all those strangers’ sex is truly challenging and may take a lifetime to cleanse. And furthermore, we can diy (self pleasure is less wounding). .

We can start dating ourselves. Getting to know our intimate self we so casually allow any Tom, Dick or Harry to know.

We are sacred beings. Start treating ourselves as such. We are precious than all diamonds congregate. If we do not learn to treat ourselves like gentlemen and women, how can the world treat us with much love?

Look at ourselves in the mirror. The love we are looking for is right there. It’s not out there. It’s already here. Give all the love to you. You deserve it. If you are still breathing, you are a winner and deserve the very best. So choose wisely.

Twin flames, soulmates, and all those limited labels we, humans created and will continue creating… Is just illusions. You choose what you want to attract and experience. It’s possible.

I have gone through myriad spectrums for such soulmates and twin flames quests. Cross through hell and heaven. Attempted almost everything shared online. Been with various types of global delicious men. And I realised that I love myself more than anyone else. It took me years but eventually I accept that. And so…

For me, everyone who showed up in my life, has lessons and blessings for me, and viceversa. I see them for whatever they choose to show up. If it’s for a season, so be it, if it’s a lifetime, it’s a bonus.