How to come home to self when soul is not 100% in body…

Soul not in the body…can be shown when we live our lives like observers/outsiders, not grounded, don’t feel belonged on earth, restless, always looking for something or someone, feeling empty or a never ending void to filled it with addiction of food etc, felt incomplete like something is wrong with self and many more.

For many years, I was in fear mode, waiting to escape whatever I face at the slightest “scent/hint” of trouble.

I was shifty, restless and people often notice that I was not present. Not there with them. As if I was somewhere else, in lala land probably.

I notice that this was on autopilot. It’s like an uncontrollable habit. I sense I was more out of body than in the body. So that I can escape whenever anything unpleasant arises.

I suspect that this can be due to the past that i held onto…(sometimes we held stories of the past in the illusion of protecting ourselves in the “future”).

When I was young, my father has issues with anger. We, in the family will never be prepared for his tantrums. Although there were joys in between, anger often lurks in the shadow.

I was always on “escape” mode by tuning out these abrupt explosions. It was scary and threatening to me that I don’t feel safe in my own home.

Those wounds and scars stayed beneath and I thought they were healed in my childhood.

I didn’t search for more information…or work on myself…only until I got my divorce.

I felt a major restlessness or wanting to be home. Wanting to come home. Wanting to be fully present in a safe environment.

Soul loss happens…
In times of chaotic moments or challenging periods of life….

the soul may be fragmented and left behind alongside with these emotional turbulences (trauma, pain, sadness, sorrow and many more) in that moment with whoever was present.

In relationships too, we left some of our soul fragments with people we loved or used to love.

As time passed, what is left of us is less than 100%, may also be less than half. No wonder we often felt not whole. That’s why we often look for another soul to complete us. This romantic idea of being partially complete till we meet the one.

That’s not true. I’ve tried finding “wholeness” through relationships, but even though the one may be whole and complete, he/she cannot complete us. That work of being whole is our job.

There may be times when someone enters our lives and we felt whole and complete. That is because we are already whole and complete. That person is just “mirroring” us.

Often time…
We are already whole but we gave away our own wholeness in that particular situation, spur of the moment, thinking that was the best way.

I have navigated far and wide in search of this wholeness. To heal myself in order to feel whole and complete instead of just blaming myself with -what’s wrong with me?

And although the shamans may be the go-to for soul retrieval…you can also do this on your own.

I have met, learnt from shamans, spiritual teachers and beautiful strangers I met during my journeys…

And I’ve done soul work with them and also soul retrieval on my own as well.

Simply…By intention and calling parts of myself, home.


Always start with a little prayer asking the Divine/God/Creator/the Universe to help you…

Then you can muscle test yourself, how much percentage of soul/spirit is in your body? 50%?

Then retrieve all of you by…

It’s simply just be in a meditative trance (ground yourself first).

Meditative trance to me is by focusing on your breathing. And once you feel calm and relaxed…

And set your intention to retrieve all parts of yourself. Then call out to all your soul parts in your heart. You can say out loud if you want.

Imagine these soul fragments flying to you from everywhere.

From various relationships, parents, children, spouses, lovers, continents, countries, childhood, past lives (If you believe) and places and many more…

At the side there is a counter that state how many percentage of your soul/spirit has come back.

Once it’s 100% or you feel whole and completely at home. You can thank the Divine and everything else for this. And unground and open your eyes.

Feel every part of your body. You can sense a different feeling of rejuvenation and awareness. It feels wonderful to be home fully, right here right now.

If you looked in the mirror, you felt a strong sense of presence in your being and your aura and your eyes, there is a certain depth of jubilant and sparkling-ness. An inner joy of being home and whole.

It’s good to be home.

P.s: I called it soul but some called it spirit or even life force. I know there may be a big difference in between. But I’m not so penchant about trivialities and focus more on whatever terms that feel right to you.

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