Expecting someone to rescue you…

Sometimes we have this illusion that no one will come and rescue us from the mess we made in life.

Felt trapped in our man-made cage. Helplessness and hopelessness resides and continues filling in sinking us further into the abyss of nothingness and darkness. Drowning us in melancholy with each day passing us by.

Or the idea that we waited and waited for that someone to rescue and they never come. Be it fathers, heroes, future husbands and spouses or even God.

We let ourselves be disappointed over and over again waiting for the inevitable. Hardening our hearts and selves as every disappointment decays our long standing beliefs of ever being rescued nor the existence of heroes.

“When will I be rescued from this torment called life? What have I done to deserve such misery and suffering? Will I ever experience rainbows in life? Do miracles exist? When will I be happy again? Will I be happy only when I’m dead? Is God sadist?” – we uttered softly to ourselves,almost waving the white flag.

For single mothers, sometimes the very people supposed to help us are the very people who take opportunities of our vulnerability and weakness to exploit us.

And we resolute each day not to ask for help. We became fearful when a kindness is shown. What’s the catch? What’s in it for you? What do you want from me? Uneasiness sets in for every kindness given, unexpectedly.

Now wearing an armour, standing a defensive stance…

Being the Warrior, doing every task as efficiently as possible, and to ensure our kids are happy, healthy and successful, we do whatever it takes.

It’s possible, we say to empower ourselves.

The world look at us and applaud our strength, courage, determination and more. We strive to stand up tall for our kids but the cracks are already showing.

We desire to be like the cookies soften as they were being dunked into the warm milk. But we told ourselves, that is not allowed… When we get soft, peeps start to trespass.

And so we resigned to fate, believing the mess we were in, is our own responsibility, our own mistakes and failures jumbled into one. We gave it all for the sake of our children, slowly disintegrating, mushing and mashing onto everything that comes our way, just like the ingredients thrown in the juicer.

But after each day ends, we picked ourselves up. Put every parts of selves together as one for their sakes. And we summon everything we got to start each day, with bright smiles and flashing hopes. And start the pattern of destruction all over again, for as long as we can.

Is there an ending to this story? A blessing in disguise in every day? A treasure at the end? No one knows.

But I applaud every single human who goes through life like a Warrior no matter what. Single mothers, single fathers, singles, couples, non parents, children, teens, adults, elders, everyone in between….

As long as the sun still rise and you are still breathing… Hope still blooms. And yes, that in itself is a miracle. You are a miracle. I am too.

Sometimes if we cannot surrender, then give up. Give up and just be. Give up all ideas, methods, actions to find solutions.

Sometimes we are our own barriers to solutions. We are in our own way.

Let go. Allow the higher power to handle it for you. Allow the Creator to take over.

You are not lazy. You are not incapable. You are just tired. You are just weary. You keep spinning your limitations over and over again through patterns you are tired of.

It’s OK to say I had enough. It’s OK to stop, when we are running in circles, exhaustion hits and are thirsty like a dog chasing after it’s own tail.

It’s OK to let go of the reign. It’s OK to hand over to someone who knows you better than you do.

It’s time to allow the Creator to take care of everything. And that is truly, enough. (if you ever wonder if God ever has our backs or even exist, then don’t wreck your brains over it, just witness the sunrise and sunset with no judgement, no expectation, everyday is truly magnificent, a different unique masterpiece… Let the beauty awe you and allow peace to reign harmoniously within).

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