LOVE is who we are.
Being vulnerable is not easy for me. I’ve been “tough” all my life…
and i know this time to let LOVE in, I have to be vulnerable…
“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open…”-Stephen Russell
I started out my “Eat,Pray Love journey when I was “awakened” in 2009…
Thus the #dearsoulmate tags…in my social medias.
Ever since I’ve travelled to 33 countries (43 in total)…
Past two years, I’ve been avoiding Bali when I was invited numerous times. I’m the type who never say No on travel destinations regardless what the circumstances are at the moment.
Now, why did I do that?
I gave excuses like it’s too touristy, many peeps have gone there, too many guidebooks and everyone knew Bali…they don’t need me and my weird unique perspectives on it…
This year after traveling 11 countries in Europe, a few more in Asia and with a hard-set strong intention and a warriors’ nation behind me (supporting me) and many more well wishers strangers who cried with me in this spontaneous 1 year SOULMATE LOVE journey…
I decided to say YES!
But it’s not over yet, it’s just the beginning…
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light…” – Brené Brown
My heart started to unfold like a flower, I’m showing my vulnerability in my writings especially to my closed ones (I don’t do this, normally-I rather shout out loud to my faceless peeps in my 1.8millions readers of my blog than face the known people who knew me personally)…
I’m feeling all kinds of emotions even some I don’t even know exist…
I’m feeling much more happy than I’ve ever been and some days I’ve cried out loud as if my pet cat has died…
I felt so much alive!!!
And I don’t even give a damn about what people think of me-(Ways of Warrior No. 14: I tell them who I am, and if they don’t like it F*** them!-T.Harv Eker Enlightened Warrior Camp)…
I thought I wanted to do a road trip in US and Canada to end my journey this year but deep down, I felt that Bali is my last destination.
And I’m feeling exceptionally weird and jittery yet deep down so calm and at peace.
I’ve met so many amazing male and female soulmates who strengthen the “soulmate list” I have done with my love coaches.
And I’m so thankful. It was so, so, so difficult to leave each and everyone of them. It felt like we knew each other in previous life times.
I knew deep down that Bali will be the one that ties everything in together and make sense of it all for me.
Truthfully, I don’t really understand what’s going on. But I’m just going with the flow. I’m not using my head but just do whatever I felt triggered to do.
Sometimes when I show my vulnerability to individual or to mass, I felt like I was naked on a stage being myself. Afraid? Of course but I knew I had to do it. And the laughters heard were just my head showing the what-ifs…
Yes I did meet my soulmates, soul buddies, soul families… They showed me what it’s like to be loved. And they showed me parts of me that I forget to love. And best part, they showed me that we are all LOVE-shine it out from within.
It has been an amazing transformational journey and I’m still experiencing miracles daily.
It’s not easy but I know the Universe is bending over backwards to support and help me in this.
In spite of it all, I’m still feeling nervous stepping into Bali…
I believe my soul already knew what I’m supposed to discover here…
Well, read this for more fun and laughters and perhaps some “enlightenment” as well…
http://www.salon.com/2010/08/06/my_eat_pray_love_adventure/
Many times, in this journey I “hit my head against the wall” with self-abuse thoughts making fun of me because I’m seeking for LOVE through lessons of love (I know LOVE is within)… with thoughts like:
Aren’t you ashamed to be searching for LOVE when you are already old, divorced, have two kids ?
Do you think you deserve such fairy-tale happy ending?
Are you worthy of such man you created in your soulmate list?
And many more….
As some of the peeps I knew would have asked me to jump at any invitations of marriage to whoever has the 5 Cs-Cash, condominium, cards (debits and credits), career and country club membership (why do I even need this? Just a World traveler card -I can travel wherever whenever I please is sufficient)…
But it’s not me.
Yes, of course being in many “Millionaires’ programs and seminars and even crew in most of them… I have met millionaires and did receive proposals but there was no soul chemistry.
I wanted someone who can communicate well with me -body, heart, mind and soul and yes chemistry in all of those aspects as well.
So I do understand being embarrassed sometimes in confessing and talking about my personal love journey…
But I’ve learnt to be Bold and loving myself in whatever I do so much so, I don’t really care what their thoughts (or my 70,000 non positive ones-I filter them) are because everyone is doing their bestest to live their lives with what they knew.
I just speak my heart and send love their way if we don’t sync with each other.
Because the bolder I got, the clearer I became and I began to notice that I attract the world similar to me-the real me without the “masks” (Writers have multi-personalities beyond anyone can imagined)…
LOVE is the root of everything so why do we felt ashamed and embarrassed to say honestly what we really wanna say and do, how we truly felt and not sugar-coating them or justify them… Just open your hearts in the name of LOVE!
Or that we did everything in search of LOVE, travel far and wide in search of LOVE, because we want to be students of LOVE, to be amazing LOVERs, to search the soulmate within so he/she will be there with-out… to be in LOVE , to be LOVED, to be LOVE and many more…
#allforLOVE
If you don’t believe me-ask yourself:
Why do you work the job you don’t really fancy?
To earn a living for yourself to earn approval from yourself?
And your loved ones so as to seek love from your family, loved ones?
To seek approval because you want their LOVE?
To be seen high and mighty amongst your peers so that they will LOVE you and let you in their social circles?
Or to tell the world that you are great because you are able to fit amongst the “normal people”… To be seen successful to gain love from the world…
Whatever reasons you give for doing what you are doing right now (not just job but everything you do), dig deeper and you know the reason is and has always been LOVE.
Ok I’m saying YES to LOVE now.
“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life – and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you…”-The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Breathe.
Ok, say a lil prayer for me.
Yes… do send me your love, light and blessings…I don’t mind wet kisses and huge huge hugs as well.
I’m stepping into Bali…
And I open myself fully-Body, heart, mind and soul.
I am ready to learn and unlearn…
Show me what you got Bali….
If you wanna unite me with my “Brazilian Lover” like the movie, bring it on! (I think I’ve met him in Rio in 2011 ) or anyone who is the most compatible soulmate Husband for me…
I am ready. Aho!
#bloggingonthemove
Be Love.
I love you.
Yours,
Lina.
P.s: Eat, Pray, Love is one of my favorite Hollywood movie and book.
Although it started out as a “guide” for me in this Soulmate LOVE journey, I didn’t plan for it to be like the movie-She did it within 1 year, I’ve been in this for 7 years…
If you never seen the movie or unsure what I’m rambling about, check this out:
Why 7 years?
It took me 5 years to let go of love not serving me well and heal completely.
It took me 2 years to re-open my heart.
Also could be, I’m seeking a different love relationship than she was -indigo, soulmate, twin souls, twin flame relationship etc (but definitely soulmate) thus it takes a lot of inner work and many many healings before we both are ready and can be united…
Maybe…who knows?
#butGodalwaysknows
Yes, the Doreen Virtue Card confirms…
