What I feel like saying…

Do you noticed that when we got mad, the words that spilled out will often made us regret?

Because truthfully we do not meant it on to another. We actually meant it for ourselves.

Notice that when you got mad, the words coming from your mouth are often because you are angry at yourself first.

I noticed this when I got mad at my kids. They, like me, are often concerned about others that they tend to neglect themselves.

And soon, they grew frustrated.

And I remembered being angry at them and were spewing words like dragons spew fire breaths. 

And then, as I say out loud to them – “You do you. And the rest will take care of themselves.”

And then I paused. It felt like the Truth was out. But it was not meant for them. Rather it was for me. 

I was so filled with worries about them, their paths, their dreams, their connections with the world and many more….

That I neglected mine.

Though ego played prominent part in most anger cases, as a parent, this time I knew, I was wrong. I took a breather and I apologised to them. And I hugged them.

My kids were surprised because they were clothed in guilt and thought the worst is yet to come. But when I admitted my mistakes, we were all humbled by our experiences.

And I began to notice that, my kids, they too apologise to each other when they made mistakes regardless whether their ego and pride were wrestling with them.

And I noticed the youngest often “parrot” back what I’ve shared with them. Thus, sometimes I’m their student. And they are my teachers. 

Well, what can I say…

I’m doing my best. I make lots of mistakes but I’m not ashamed to admit them.

Love,

Lina.