Day 78 – What’s in your name?

Day 78
What’s in a name…
In Asia, as a Malay Muslim, my name carried my father’s name wherever I go. From birth till death, his name is linked to mine. We don’t have family names.
But I have contradicting feelings about my father thru out my life. After learning about energies and healing, I realised that I was carrying a big burden in my name. I dropped it off without feeling like it’s an obligation.
But slowly, the fear crept within… 
I fear that my community believe I’m an illegitimate child for dropping my father’s name. That was often the belief we conjured in my community when someone does not have their fathers name link to theirs. 
And I was in a dilemma. I fought a lot with it. But eventually, the burden of carrying a name I no longer felt sync with, positively wins me over.
And the funny part was, my father had actually changed his own name cos he was often made fun of by his subordinates.
A huge overwhelming burden felt as if it was being lifted up. And then, I went to the Netherlands. Over there, I was known as a part of the Van Der Weerden family. And when I embraced it, I felt an even bigger burden.
It was unbearable. I’m a sensitive, intuitive empath. The moment I embrace that name, I felt very heavy. I saw visions but I thought it was just my imaginations.
Years later, I was able to confirmed what I’ve seen.
Sometimes, I can feel, sense or even see past histories of the vander Weerden families. I can feel the consequences of poverty, war, as if I was living it.
Of course, I dropped the name and use my own name. I’ve never felt so happy and free.
A friend of Polish descendant (whose past generations’ lives had been quite challenging) changed her last name to LOVE. And I’ve never seen her being a beautiful advocate of love, shining her truth and joy wherever she goes.
At the end of the day, we live our lives the best way we knew how and experienced. I no longer got caught up with what peeps think of me. So what if they think I’m legitimate child or not. I dont really care nor do I have the time to worry about it. 
Do what works best for you. 
Have fun, experimenting. 
P. S: Together, let’s awaken our world by being our most authentic, joyous, abundant, loving selves. 
It’s OK, if you don’t belong to the crowd. Belong to yourself is enough. You are ENOUGH.
Be the unique you and shine. You matter. 
We matter. The world need us in our colourful truths. Stand strong. Rise bold. 
Don’t matter if there is anyone with you or supporting you or the fact that you felt unwanted or rejected. 
You don’t need permission to be you. You are a life warrior. Have courage to do what feels right to you.
Stop hiding in the shadows. Stop concealing your imperfections. 
It’s OK if you have unhealed wounds. Resolute to learn/unlearn, grow and heal them. We are all works-in-progress. 
Your existence is important and it is powerful. There is a great purpose/s in you being alive. 
Remember that. 
I may not know you but if I did, I know, I will love you. Because no matter what we are, we each deserved to be loved, seen, heard and matter.
This is what I believe. This is my truth. I’m Honouring it by sharing and spreading my message. 
What is your truth? Get to know, explore. Then, Express and Share it. 
(Visited 26 times, 1 visits today)