When our kids grew into adulthood and leave the nest…

I’ve been teaching my kids to travel on their own since very young. And when it’s time for them to travel solo alone, my heart and womb cringe a bit.

My little babies have grown…

To actually witness them jumping heads on without a clue of what’s to come with much excitement and hope (or their first bungy jump), I as a parent started realising many years have passed…

In a blink, cradled in my arms such helpless, tiny babies… Now fully grown with independent thinking and intelligence.

Now, to let go a bit by bit…

How do I grit my teeth and watch my kids take their own paths without meddling? How will I feel when they face challenges, failures and fears?

I can only do so much as an advisor or a guide but no more as to intrude and outstay my privilege and make my presence annoyingly known, let alone stop them in their growth on their own.

I feel my biggest fear triggered my own separation anxiety. Doing my bestest to be their life witness, I cannot imagine letting go of that role. Or perhaps the idea of not being of service to them, anymore.

Many ideas ignited… to be able to finally do my own things fully, is definitely fun. But being a mother is truly a blessing. If I ever need to turn back time, I will still choose to be a mother.

For, sometimes we interchange being a teacher and a student, learning and unlearning from each others’ successes and mistakes through erupted emotions of joy, laughter, tears, angst, struggle, pain, fear and many more.

Then lies the me…

What awaits me? What phase of life shall unfold? Will I still be curious and indulge that with exploration of the physical world?

Time sped fast. In a blink, I’ve became older. My children became adults. Have I learnt what I was meant to learn in this life? Did I fulfil my missions? Will I greet the Almighty with joy or sadness upon coming home?

Was my existence a gift of miracle to the world?

Hmm…