Friday preach: Love to my kids

How do I explain the ups and downs of knowing love through out my life? (still learning).

Muslims, men especially…. have to go to their obligatory Friday prayers and listen to the Friday summons and share them to their families.

Today is Friday. I’m not a preacher but as a parent, I’m doing my best to communicate what I’ve learn/unlearn through out my life without having to make a heavy imprint or engravings on what they are about to learn. I can only advice, they still have to make their own choices.

I’m sharing a snippet of what I shared with my sons… (take what feels right for you in your life and share).

“Dear Sons,

To love and be loved…

Something to share. Often in life, we look upon others to love us and sometimes we are dissapointed because….

The way they love us may not be enough.

The thing is… How we love ourselves set the bar for others to love us.

And no matter how good a person is, only Allah’s love is the best. And the best amongst us, humans is Nabi saw.

So it’s not right if we have high expectations of others to love us in the way we thought we deserved but then, we treat ourselves poorly. We do not protect, defend or even stand up for ourselves. We believe others are better than us so when they love us, we felt smitten, (small as compared to them). These are not real love.

These are illusions and delusions of love. No one can make us happy if we are not happy first. No one can make us feel loved if we don’t make ourselves accept love from ourselves everyday.

How we perceived our worthiness and deservability of love is how we mirror to the world.

Remember what’s in the past is for us to learn/unlearn. If more than that, let it go because the mind keep re-construct our past. And if its playing more than once, it became our truth and pattern. No right or wrong here, but it’s limited.

The truth may not be your truth. It’s truth divided thru many perspectives.

My perspectives :I think this way is true, my love currency is acts of services and communication and expression of love. If you don’t give me these, I think you don’t love me.

Your perspectives: But your love currency may be different, perhaps – just stand by you and support you thru good and bad.

Perhaps show you by spending time with you and play board games like monopoly.

Perhaps by spending gifts onto you, celebrate your every accolades, as a witness to your life. Perhaps, by touching you, hugging you, is another way of showing that I love you.

Whatever it is, know yourself first. Know your love currency. Also be a good receiver and giver of love. Be open. People who come to us may stay for a reason, a period of time, or lifetime. They each have a mission. To teach us about love. May not be what we expected but until we learn, the lessons keep repeating thru many souls and roles.

And remember the ultimate truth, unconditional love can only come from God and occasionally from people like mothers. But humans can make mistakes. But Allah do not.

So don’t expect a love so perfect unless it’s Allah’s love.

And if you love someone, always love them kerana Allah taala. Be grateful that they were created because of Allah. Not because they are pretty, intelligent, amazing etc because all those can change…

But love them because they were created by Allah.

That’s it.
Have a blessed Friday.
Dua lots and have faith God will fulfil..

You both are worthy of the best in life and hereafter including love.
I believe so.”

I love you.

Note to my spiritual readers: Allah = God, Divine, Universe…. Nabi saw =Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.

Respect my views as I’ve respected yours.

… it’s not because I’ve recently been to pilgrimage again that I’ve changed. I’ve always been like this. Only I don’t show it. I respected everyone regardless of their faiths, beliefs etc. I’ve not yet turned down anyone just because…

I love humanity. We are loved because we are different. This is beautiful.

Islam has always been a part of me, it’s just that I don’t often share my Islamic beliefs and perspectives. Islam, spirituality, positivity, and whatever I’ve learnt through out my life makes me what I am. Currently, I’m doing my best to be wholly me. Good, bad, ugly, awesome.

As I’m going through a different phase of life, my blog will flow as what I am. This way, we don’t have to feel ashamed but grateful that we are constantly growing and learning and sharing. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes.

I’m a constantly growing, changing, evolving, transforming, always a project.

A work in progress human.

We all are.

Forgive and learn/unlearn. Be open. Can we love ourselves as we change or going through a transformational phase? Not easy. But it’s going to be amazing.

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