At first I thought, my audience is just women around the world. Women who are stressed, overworked, overwhelmed, not healthy, always busy, very masculine, and very frustrated with life age 30-45. But then, the Universe recently showed me and took me closer, to home.

I felt sadden by some of my friends who were recently single mothers after decades of marriages. And these women are leaders, powerful entrepreneurs, loving wives, business travellers and capable mothers. We had not contacted each other for ages and somehow the Universe connects us, all.

They came to me flocking me with endless questions, one after another. And I noticed a similar theme in all of them. They were where I used to be 9 years ago.

I knew everything happened for a reason. I believed in synchronicity. And so I decided to change the direction of this podcast.

I wrote a big list. Questioning myself :Who is my listener avatar? What is their background? What do they do daily? What do they eat? Where do they work? Where do they hang out?

Why can’t they sleep at night (what challenges do they face often?). Are they men or women or gender neutral? Are they kids, teens, young adults, mature adults, silver generation? What are their dreams? What are their hobbies? What are their wounds? And many more…

I became very unwell after that. Though I mentioned I was in dark night of soul in previous post, this new direction is making me very stressful. I was fighting with my ego, my internal GPS, my heart, everything.

In all the programs I’ve been in, the teachers emphasized on focusing on 1 when doing anything. This 1 is my audience, my customers, my clients, my fans and followers. I knew who that 1 is. I knew her very well. In fact I lived as her.

The focus group I was supposed to help, lead and guide was the single mothers. I knew that in 2013, when I was invited to a single mom outdoor event and was interviewed as one of the successful role model. I didn’t appear. I videoshot my interview. And after that, more came forward but I say no.

And now, while doing outline for 52 episodes, it felt that I had to focus on 1 person while doing the podcast. The topics showcased have to be relevant as well. I knew what must be done but I was not ready, or so I thought.

Perhaps I don’t feel worthy to lead a group of awakened heart leaders, strong, determined beautiful women. And so I kicked and screamed thru out working on my podcast outlines and fell ill.

Of course in dark nights, these emotions and wounds that popped up has to be seen, heard and matter asap. It’s very painful to let it linger, longer. And the women that showed up in my life, gave me clarity on what I want and what I don’t want.

It was truly enlightening (though it felt scary and painful). My ego wanted to hold onto these old stories as if they were medals of honor. I had to wrestle with it, nearly drowned a few times to snatch them away.

In the end, I grew tired. I stopped fighting. My body grew weaker. Headache felt like someone was drumming my head with knives. Nose was sensitive to almost everything. Eyes decided to throw tantrum so I gave them a break. And gadgets were silenced. Visitors were not allowed.

Appetite was solely to feed to get strength to live. Throat felt like I’ve swallowed sandpaper. Sleeping was not easy cos I have to stop thinking. But ho’oponopono helps a lot.

My breath became shallower than before. Rain came almost everyday, my life felt cloudy. My masculinity armor had to be disrobed to tend to my feminine wounds.

I did my healing work. I introspect deep within. I probed, I checked, I microscoped my wounds, my past stories and beliefs that caused repeated patterns of attractions.

I felt that I am now open to more healing as I do more work in this podcast. I believe healing is more than 2 ways. As I shared more, healed more, more wounds will pop up. And I believe we interchange our roles between teachers and students (which I believed to be my listeners).

Yes, healing felt like a never ending journey. But when I healed parts of me, I found beautiful miracles awaiting for discovery. Its like traveling. The fun part is often the journey not the destination.

I know not what I may bring to this podcast to share, guide and lead, the single mothers, age 30-45. Because they are not just any single mothers. They are the special ones who became leaders of their own lives. The ones bold enough to do whatever it takes with heart to create a beautiful life for themselves and their kids.

The awesome ones who took responsibility instead of laying blame on anything and everyone for their predicament but willing to take a moment to dive deep to seek the root of issues because they knew, they attract what they truly are.

Well, I’m just gonna take baby steps. Sharing my journey is a shared responsibility I treasure greatly.

How can I ignore these true Warriors, the single mothers, the one doing her best to lead an authentic life by balancing her masculine and feminine at the same time be a good father and mother to her kids?

The very ones who pretended to be strong juggling her daily life multitasking like an octopus, and the very ones who needed help but unable to ask, and whom most of us ignored everyday?

I’ve seen many single mothers struggling, drowning, wanting to live only for their kids, doing their best for everyone in the family (most times sacrificing themselves) and battling with the stress, overwhelm with kids, work and neglect of self care and love, while handling the perceived shame label and stigma of being divorcees, the single mothers, husband seductress and many more.

Why wouldn’t I help my own kind? I’ve been doing that with my mom by being her little warrior since I was 10.

As I say Yes louder and bolder while working with the Universe to gain more clarity in this path, I also say yes to my tribe and be open to what’s in store for me.

And… If you are like me, a single mother, an awakened heart leader of your own life with kids, someone who is bold enough to get lost to experiment and create your own career path, joy and love in your everyday…

Who no longer bother what the world thinks of you, while doing your utmost best to provide a better life for your kids and yourselves and manifesting your dreams…. And being a role model to your kids (you know the kids are watching and mimicking your every move)

And creating purposeful awakening life to lead your own tribe of women or men or both…

So come, join me in my podcast . Let me share, guide and lead you to manifest your success, dreams and Miracles.

And by mastering in being a manifestor, you can also guide your kids to be powerful manifestors. If you have doubts, take a look at your life and theirs now. We are already manifesting. The results are in our reality.

So why not create the best life, right?

Yes, you may cry yourself at night, feeling like you may not be the success you imagined yourself to be. But you are perfect in whatever stage of life you are in, now. And…

There is an easier way. You don’t have to struggle. Women are powerful manifestors. We give birth to wonderful creations because we were destined to be.

We were made to manifest. Its our birthright. And single mothers, you were born to be Warriors. You are not broken. You have just been expanded and bended. Life is moulding you to embrace many more gifts and Miracles.

Reclaim your power. And be your own brightest star and hero, now.

Happy New Year, Gorgeous.

I love you,

Lina Masrina.

P. S: if you wanna know how to find your listener avatar (for Podcast), the perfect customer for your business, do read this… https://www.eofire.com/defining-your-avatar/