Are you a rescuer like me?
Stop the pattern…Stop playing the hero and allow others to be their own heroes and solutions.
When I was younger, my bro and I love to invite stray cats home. They will make messes at home and peed but we had great fun trying to clean and fed them.
When mom came home after a hard day’s work, though we hid the kitten, she can sniff it out. Eventually she chased it away and had to cleanse the whole house (cos either we kids slept exhausted or scared of being punished that we pretend to sleep and eventually did sleep).
My mom used to live in a village. And had many cats. She knew what taking care of cats entails. She did not want us to “torture” the animals with neglect because she knew we were not committed.
Between my many CCAs and part time jobs, I won’t have the time to care for it fully. Neither do my bro and my single mom who had 2-3 jobs.
But we continue rescuing strays until one day we stop this nonsense act, tired of having to chase them away whenever mom return home.
Perhaps it’s more fun of having the illusion of being heroes then partaking in it
I grew up noticing a similar pattern in my relationships with friends, teachers, colleagues etc. I love being the “rescuer”. I end up attracting “damsels (both men n women) in distress”, challenging peeps, those who considered themselves “broken”, unsociables, introverts, the bullied, and many more.
I was specifically emphathetic towards them.
As I grew wiser in age and gone to many selfdevelopment coaching programs, the root identified was because there was no family or loved ones to witness my growth in life when I was a child.
I had to figure out solutions even as young as 3 years old, being bullied by the caretakers’ kids and grandkids. When I actually formed words to describe my traumatic experiences to my parents, they didn’t believe me. (I no longer blame them or use this as an excuse anymore).
Thus it felt….
No one rescued me. I was left alone. I was abandoned and neglected. Only I can solve my own challenges.
I then resolute to handle my life, my own way. If I was being bullied, I learn to be a chameleon. Later on, I became fearless to walk away.
These beliefs adopted, moulded me into the Warrior (I learn to good observer of peeps n be street smart) that I am today. And whenever possible, I try to “rescue” others. Because I knew how it felt to be alone and helpless.
It became problematic for me later on. Because not everyone wants to be “rescued”. And most of the time, it’s none of my business anyway.
I came to a breaking point in my 30s. I was so efficient as a troubleshooter that most did not want to help themselves, they just happily, waiting for me to help them. It was overwhelming for me because I thought it was my mission to rescue everyone.
I felt as if I was carrying the world on my back. It was too much. While learning to heal myself, I chance upon Emotion Code and learn to let go of stuff that are not mine especially energetic baggages.
Emotion Code allow me to connect with my being and do muscle testing as I probe deeper into what’s weighing me down. Immediately I felt a huge weight released.
I felt lighter, healthier, happier and younger (peeps often thought I was 18 when I was 38) looking. I stopped being the “rescuer”. I learn to draw healthy boundaries. And I teach others to rescue themselves.
Being the rescuer felt like I’m carrying everyone on my back. But if they “rescue” (actual term is awaken, and solve their issues by taking responsibility for themselves) themselves, then we can walk side by side without being a heavy baggage and burden to anyone.
Thus I’m not anyone’s healer.
What I did was guide peeps to heal themselves by being awaken to what’s going on inside and outside themselves and their surroundings,by not being afraid to question and probe deeper into self.
Whatever imbalances that we have that is preventing us from being healthy and happy…
These imbalances just need 5 seconds of fame. They just want to be heard, seen and matter.
The rest, body, heart, mind and spirit often auto heal. And the Almighty InsyaAllah will help us. And that’s it.
When we work hard to solve our own issues within and without, many will come forward and help.
The Universe always help and has our backs.
Oh, as I’m learning CBT, my teacher say -“no one is broken.they just wants to be understood.”
As for me, through out my many colorful experiences of life, wounded or not… “Humans are Not broken, it’s just humans being expanded, bended and stretched. Warriors are the most flexible and adaptable in life.”
Note: I believed we each are blessed to have healing abilities and that our bodies can auto heal themselves. My role is to facilitate that.
I believed that The Creator is the Ultimate Healer because without His will and permission, nothing is possible.
Disclaimer:All info provided is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please contact your professional healthcare provider before attempting any info provided in all my media and suggestions shared.