My life is always about meaning. I won’t do anything without contemplating the meaning.
Because for everything I do, I do my bestest with my body, heart, mind and spirit. Unsure if it’s my psyche as an indigo adult or empath, but I knew since young, I won’t walk with you unless there is a reason to.
Even though as a spontaneous explorer, sometimes I felt nudge by the Creator to wander unknown lands without any reason, I follow through because I knew there awaits a plethora of lessons awaiting my presence to learn and unlearn.
I marinated the many experiences squashed into me within a short period of time. I realised I cannot tolerate anymore bullshit (illusions created by humanity).
And I normally introspect my experiences before I shared but in more than 1 occasions, my body actually “vomited” it out… (emotional meltdown, weird words coming out of my mouth felt hot lava-ish and no more peace tolerating woman that I used to be) into the open.
Felt shocked and worse many reasons damaging to my name…. I felt weirdly awakened in a big way. (I don’t throw tantrum in the open).
I was amongst a huge group of crones from Singapore. And then we emerged into myriad nationalities of Crones. And I knew nothing is by chance. No concept of coincidence only synchronicity live in my heart.
Everything has meaning, reason and blessing in it. Approaching the age of 45 perhaps is the right time to be embracing all these abundance of knowledge lies in the wisdom of Crones.
The rage I felt is from Crones. The reason being, I’m one.
The sacrifices we serve alongside our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits felt unknown to the world. And everyday as we age, we are asked to prove our worthiness. BE useful or be a burden, choose.
And then be amongst warrior leaders of men, whom all have our own challenges as well, triggered me further into my “crones” current plight and social angst….
Generally speaking… What was triggered…
The shame we carried in our beings after all that we have done for the families and the world is, not being honoured let alone recognised.
As we age, we felt redundant. Our kids grew into fine role models. And we are happy. But then, where do we go from here?
Sometimes, we felt unappreciated. Our voices not heard. We are not being prioritised. Our kids left us to create their own. Some many continents away.
We have become invisible. And we started to age or should I say rot invisibly till its time the Creator called us home, permanently.
How did you treat your elders at home? Some of us send our parents to the nursing homes. I cannot imagined me being there. It felt like a death sentence.
One mother can care for 10 or more kids but not one can take care of her, upon her old age? No time. Busy making money. Got kids. Need to move up career ladder. Did she give all these excuses when you were growing up? Did she abandoned you?
How did she juggled life for herself and yet be there 200% for each kid? I know it’s not an easy task. I’m still doing it.
How about when we depart? Did you immediately seek our replacements? Husband were you thinking of remarrying?
Most of my women clients are transitioning. Their bodies are changing. Their rage, emotional meltdowns are showcasing itself if they have been so great at disguising for the world.
And not only women, men are also coming to me. Their invisibility is choking them. They work harder at staying visible and extending their usefulness. But inside drowning in own wounded-ness, unable to express it out.
The Creator has been showcasing me a live painting, I didn’t see it even if it’s right before my very eyes. I was tormentingly processing the huge amount of data going through me.
Society is determined to label us and put us in a box. Useful or useless? (demographics of physical health or economic issues) Choose where you wanna be. It’s not honouring our past. Just moving on. Just keep on doing, serve, serve serve, do, do, do till we die in our busy-Ness.
Did we even have a moment to choose what kind of life we desire to live, a happy peaceful one or just follow the crowd (blind obedience of the mass) ?
Crones is a not about the age, maturity or even years lived on earth nor your egoistic titled designation or success accolades… Its an invitation.
Nothing can prepares you for it. Just got to awaken your body, heart, mind and spirit and go for it.
Whatever will be, will be.
It’s not even in the age. Some 25 can be as great crone as a 60year old. Or 80 year old may still feel vague what a Crone is supposed to be. Still clueless and continues performimg as what the society desire them to be.
If you are sensitive then you will be more. If you are a healer than your healing prowess will exceed your expectation. The key is to check in within, be aware and go with the flow.
I wasn’t ready. I was struggling with my own limitations. I was angry. I felt rage coming through me which kept me bewildered because I don’t keep anger and rage long within me. I knew its nonpositive effects and consequences.
The collective invisibility of angst within millions of women around me, choked me. Transformed me inside out. I now know why.
Crones are unlike the many fairy tales who depict them as hags, old evil women seeking revenge, or just evil queen seeking youth of the current generation….
Crones are elders who accrued wisdom attained over many decades (and lifetimes, if you believed). They are very important especially in a fast changing world like ours (have you ever wondered why covid happens? Don’t bother abt blaming who or what. Just dwelve deep within and find the true meaning and transformation needed for it). If we take time to be with them, we will get answers to our own lives (answers are always in ourselves but if we are too busy, hangin with elders can showcase the answers too).
I love hanging out with the elders everywhere I go. They say the darnest things. They say things and do things that may not make sense at that moment but if you have time, ponder over it and a wealth of wisdom will roll out not just for current challenges but future as well.
I watched two of my bestest wisest women flow in all their seasons. I was with them till their last. And I am honoured to stay with them for as long as I can. Its like a full circle and cycle with them. Some can be witnessed through physical words emitt from mouth, most were unspoken invisible language, telepathy, psychic and all that.
Honour your elders amongst you. You have some of the powerful wisest diamonds, one can never ever buy. Be with them. Witness, observe, introspect. Stop bullying them. Stop putting them in a box. Or even get another to care for them. At least as gratitude one of the family members (or take turns) should be there,in the last precious decades of their lives.
Don’t use religion – paradise lies in the feet of your mother as an obligation to repay them. You can never repay your parents especially your mother. But be an ambassador of love. Love them in whatever seasons they showed up.
Happiness and peace is the key to everything. They are the ones holding the answers to every of your predicament. Cherish that.
As for my future Crones be it men or women or everything in between, being a Crone is about being. Honour, respect self. Celebrate what you have become. No matter what society labeled you as, do what makes you happy and at peace. You have your own purpose and fulfillment to achieve. No one of us has the right to tell you what to do. You have earn the right. The world is a better place because of your existence. Be. Be. Be. If unsure, just tune on the abyss of endless love within. And see what miracles awaits. Thank you Crones for being you. You are super important to me. I love you.