Everytime I went to some programs to participate or crew, something bizarre happens.
Personally for me, after every warrior camps, I was given a “vision” glimpse of my future, 2 years later. I only realised the pattern now.
Anyway, past warrior camps, I was able to serve, observe and hang out with, up close and personal with the Warrior Queens. I’ve got 2. One of them is Warrior Goddess Queen and the other is a Mother Healer Queen ( I gave them these names) .
So after 2 camps, I went off jolly feet traveling and wandering the Europe continent. Along the way, I had dreams. I saw one of the Queens took off their crown and gave it to me. I then became the next Warrior Goddess Queen. I saw many below me rejoiced. I saw a sea of people clapping, standing ovations and all sorts of dance in celebration of a new reigned Queen (this is just a small but powerful part of the whole dream. It’s personal).
I woke up feeling overwhelmed. I cannot lead the Warrior Camp. I don’t want to. I enjoyed being in the camp.
So fears and ego crept in and after I shared with my Queen, I forgot about it. 2 years passed by… .
After I met the 3rd Queen, a different Queen but a queen nevertheless. A pageant queen, the Queen that always looks good no matter what.
The Queen who looks like a Barbie Doll. The kind of beautiful woman doll who waves to her loyal subjects in her perfection of beauty and charisma during parades. But not just any kind of doll, a powerful beauty. A leader. I call her Beauty Queen (beautiful inside and outside).
I now understood what my dreams meant.
The dream meant that I have to stand proud and bold in my purpose. Its time to be seen whole as me. Not hiding behind my words in my blog. It’s time to rise and be visible and be heard again. It’s okay if I have failed in the past (there was too much unexpected fame and success, that I “collapsed” ) .
It’s time to shine again in all parts of me the good the bad and the awesome (ugly but cuddly) .
To do whatever it takes to be better and more successful than the current me. Mainly to rise up and take the challenge of being a Queen.
Being a Queen in my own purpose. And attract the wonderful hearts I’m supposed to lead. I felt that the Universe is having fun seeing me clamped into a country for a year, not able to wander about, flying free.
Because there is something important that I need to do. To be seen whole, be heard in my message and truly matter.
I called myself the Heart Queen. A Queen that is joyous and does what makes her heart happy. She questions everything and anything. One who believes in everything is possible.
A Queen that manifest miracles with the Universe. She cannot be put in a box nor be categorised. She is happy in her own colorful ways. She cannot conform to the status quo. She cannot commit to anyone or anything if not sync with the heart.
A carefree spirit, a bird, perfect in her imperfection, willing to admit her smorgasbord of mistakes, street smart, rejections handler, has wounds and scars but not afraid to get up after every fall, the Queen who loves to wander the world in her boots. And eat her Ben and Jerry’s.
A wild, messy Goddess, warrior, protector of her loved ones (her self and kids mostly), a heart healer, a writer from heart, youthful being, can look “vavavoom” beautiful when she wants to but mostly messy in her comfy cotton.
Mainly a Warrior Goddess Queen who is currently loving her freedom as a single woman, not afraid to show her vulnerabilities in spite being strong (and has fought a “thousand” battles). Doing her best to be authentic in her everyday. She transcends between her warrior and goddess energies flowlessly.
And rising up to the challenge of leading. Unsure if its just women or men or both. She believes that unity of men and women is crucial in the current state of world.
Union of love and partnerships of both men and women will definitely help to spread success, love, joy, wholeness, abundance, balance, harmony and peace everywhere.
Looking at the dream and how afraid I was back then, I chuckled to myself.
You see dreams can be weird and funny. Sometimes it’s just not easy to translate them to human understanding.
This is a lesson in itself and I’m gonna commit to this, one baby step. Cause all my past memories started flooding in me as well, wanting to be healed.
Thank YOU Universe. I shall embrace these gifts. Looking forward to more miracles.