Day 44 – the art of being authentic, conscious and abundant woman series continues….
what I feel like saying…
Feeling that my existence is important.
As a child, one of my wounds was being treated as unimportant. No adults paid any attention to the words coming out of my mouth. And no parent to share about my everyday success either.
And so, when I first saw friends performing on stage, I felt the applause given were amazing. And I wanted to be one of them.
Though shy, being in the limelight felt much more important and somehow that fear seems to pale in comparison.
And so I got myself in plays, short stories and even dances (modern and traditional).
On stage, I felt that I was acknowledged for my existence. And for awhile, I felt important in the eyes of the “world” (whoever was watching).
I soon forgot to update my family on my achievements. They were too busy anyway. And I was often lost in my own theatrical recognition in my mind.
I grew up, not celebrating my own successes. I often shortchanged myself. I continue being the invisible me in my family (visible only to solve challenges).
It’s not healthy. I interchange roles of being seen and invisible so often that I was on invisible automode without realising it consciously.
Many years later, I went to an Empowerment camp. That is where I learn to adopt a healthy self-esteem and confidence by recognising my own existence.
I was “seen” amongst like-minded peers and mentors. They embraced the good, bad and awesome parts of me.
I then became bold. The fire within was ignited. I learn to embrace my light. I learn to love myself even more.
I applaud at my own silly jokes. I made lots of mistakes but I choose to forgive myself easily.
I learn to say “I” in sentences regarding me (instead of “we”) , boldly. I approve of myself without asking permission from anyone else.
I embrace my successes, applause, compliments, standing ovations with open arms (though sometimes, I felt its too “bright” ). No longer hiding nor stay invisible.
And that is one of many lessons I learnt well in Enlightened Warrior Training Camps. I called this place – a place where the weird, bizzare and unique congregate.
What is your wound as a child? It’s time to heal them.
Do check out my previous everyday postings on women empowerment 🙂
Creating tribes of authentic, conscious
abundant women around the world.
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