Dear love, I found me in you…
I was frustrated.
I knew he existed the moment I was born. Perhaps these feet of mine skipped the crawling stage to find him, to be united with him again, to be next to him like always…
As soon as I grew legs, I ran and search every nook and cranny…
The moment these legs “grew to wings”, I flew into every continent just to sniff his footsteps and the pheromones left behind.
I’ve never stopped.
I never really knew who he is. But I knew he is a part of me.
Back then there was no such thing as “soulmate list.” Just open the heart, let someone in and move forward through trial and error.
I’m not gonna bore you with the details.
But the mates I attracted through out my life are crucial in my clarity of finding out who he is.
Without clarity, there is no way I will know who he is even if he is drop dead gorgeous and looked like Christian Keyes. (Yum!)
But I noticed that each and everyone of them have at least one of his attributes. Yes, even those puppy loves in high school.
And they said- Don’t search. Don’t find him.
How can I not? At this age (#iamalways25 ) being single is like a sin.
How can I tolerate such madness when loneliness feels up every GAP of my life. My friends have families and little kids. My families are always traveling. My clients are busy “chasing” their dreamlife… My kids are totally under-age in matters like this…
Every time I reached home from work, instead of numbing my emotions thru therapy of endless drama and fears-related TV shows, I face them everyday before I sleep.
Tired, exhausted… of being strong and brave, this single Mom cries to bed everyday, silently crying (not to awaken her angelic sons) voicing and feeling every bit of the emotions beneath her blanket of vulnerabilities. When it’s all sogged up, she seeks comfort in the pool of “human-ness” and slept soundly.
So that she can wake up stronger and face the world, the next day, like a superwoman.
Well, I’m thankful that those days are not gone even though he was here. #soulmatescrytogether
Got to balance it all up…
This movie never failed to make me laugh…. He is so funny.
Erm, meanwhile… I’m doing my best discover the true me. I realised I show certain facets of me to different people at different times, and I wore so many masks to protect myself that I don’t know what is the truth anyway.
Now it’s not about anyone embracing me, it’s about me embracing me.
Will I be shocked at my own discovered truth?